Aliens

So I’ve been writing this blog for three months now, just rambling about things in archaeology that I find interesting, or what I’ve been reading about recently in relation to my thesis. But now is time for a confession. I’ve been lying to you.

You see, the thing is, it’s all lies. Lies created to make us humans feel better about ourselves, and our intellectual evolution. You think ancient Egyptians built the pyramids? Think again! Of course a primitive society hundreds of years ago didn’t build something that we would struggle with today, even with machinery and computers to help with the heavy lifting and the thinking. Don’t be absurd.

Archaeology is what alien visitors have left on earth.

Obviously.

Some people call this view “pseudoarchaeology” and claims that it lacks any adherence to the scientific method – where is their evidence, what are their methods to test their theories?

But it’s common sense! We’re the underdogs here, we need to make people see sense.

Chariot of the Gods, by Erich von Daniken is one of the seminal works that discusses the truth about archaeology. The author discusses how archaeology represents a higher technological knowledge base than would have existed in prehistory.

How on earth would ancient people have moved the Stonehenge bluestones from Wales, without cars or trucks? There’s no way, of course. And so the only viable conclusion is that they were helped, by visitors from outer space.

This viewpoint is backed up by many clues – take the Nazca lines in Peru, for example. They are obviously made to be viewed from space – they are a form of landing strip – so the visitors knew where to land. The visitors to Peru would have been responsible for Machu Picchu, of course - a great civilisation built at the top of a mountain, the only explanation is aliens.

So next time someone tries to talk to you about ancient civilisations, feel free to ignore them. They clearly don’t know what they’re talking about. It’s all common sense really, and everybody knows that common sense is universal and absolute, and can always be trusted.

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*Disclaimer: none of this is true. Happy April 1^st!

Pyramid image from Wikipedia
Stonehenge and Machu Picchu images my own.